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What Do You Really Want?

The first step in healing from unmet expectations is to find out what you were really looking for through your expectations in the first place. What was your real motive? What was that deep desire that was left unsatisfied in your heart? Maybe your husband forgot about an appointment or anniversary. You get angry and you have a fight, and suddenly everything just seems to be crashing down all around you, but all you really wanted was to know he loves you and appreciates you.
Maybe you made a commitment to yourself to quit drinking, and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t beat the addiction. Now you think you’re a failure, that you’re weak, that you’re a bad person, and that just leads you to drink even more. But all you really wanted was to be free from the pain or trauma that led you to start drinking in the first place.

Maybe you’ve spent months by the bedside of someone you love, praying that God would heal them of cancer. And maybe instead of healing them, He chose to take them home. But you really thought that God would do what you asked, and now you’re not even sure He hears your prayers. You just don’t know how you can survive without that person in your life, and all you really wanted was to not be alone. 
At first glance, we look at our expectations, and we don’t notice these things. We only see the situations before us, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The real issue is what lies below the surface. And when we know what is really driving our expectations, we can begin to address that deep place—that truest longing of our hearts. We can begin to find fulfillment for our most true—our most real—of desires.

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