Especially after others let us down, though not exclusively, we look at ourselves as the only option for success, and we place very unhealthy expectations on ourselves. Even in the healing journey, we can expect too much of ourselves, thinking that we can overcome a lifetime of hurt and pain in just one two-hour session with a prayer counselor, and then getting discouraged and losing all hope when it doesn’t work.

Now we're not saying you shouldn’t dream big—we talk more about that in the Discover Your Dreams section, and your dreams need to be far bigger than you—but unhealthy expectations come up when you think you can accomplish those dreams on your own.

That kind of expectation, when met with repeated failure, leads to a whole other kind of self-expectation—believing that you will surely fail at everything you set out to accomplish. As unhealthy as it is to expect too much from ourselves (leading to burnout, high stress, and high blood pressure), expecting too little of yourself can end in terrible failure. Sure, you will surprise yourself from time to time with success, but when you set your mind on failure, you’ll quite likely end up there.