The first and most important step in breaking unhealthy vows is one we’ve already talked about . . . trusting God to let you hurt. The greatest reason we make unhealthy vows is to avoid pain. They are a form of protection. We were hurt by situations in our past, and we vowed never to let them hurt us again. So to break these vows, we have to first face that pain and let God heal us from that pain.

The next step is to break the vow. Verbally. Out loud. “I break the vow that I will never show my feelings again!” Say it until you mean it. Remember, there’s power in your words. Say it over and over again if you have to, but don’t stop until it really sinks in. You’ll know when you’ve stopped saying it from your mind, and when you’ve started declaring it from your heart.

Now replace that vow with God’s truth, with a blessing, or with a positive commitment. For example, “I am free to express my feelings. My feelings are important and they matter to God and to other people. I commit to expressing my feelings to others.” Again, say it until you mean it. Let it sink down deep.

And of course, with this example, you’re not going to just go around telling your feelings to everyone you meet. You still need to use wisdom and discernment, or you will very quickly find yourself repeating your old vows (or leading other people to create their own). But you have made a commitment to yourself and to God to open up your heart.

Surely, you are risking getting hurt again. God knows that. He, Himself, risks great rejection every time He reveals His heart to us. He risked rejection when He sent His Son into this world. He’s been rejected more than anyone else in existence. Love is indeed a risk. But it’s absolutely worth it.

Finally, when you’ve broken the vow and replaced it with God’s truth, you’ve overcome another roadblock in the way of following God’s lead, and you can move ahead in your journey to freedom. Will there be other curses and vows that pop up along the way? Probably. And maybe they’ll come all at once, or maybe you won’t see the next one for years to come, but hide these truths in your heart, and you’ll be ready for them the next time this kind of roadblock stands in your way.