Next Steps
Answer the following questions, journal about them, pray about them, or discuss them with a counselor or trusted friend.
-
Make a list of every unforgiven offense you can think of. Go through everyone you can think of (family, coworkers, friends, the guy who cut you off this morning on your way to work) and write down each offense. Ask God to help you remember them and bring them to your attention. Then, one by one, go through the list and forgive each person for their offenses, praying a blessing on each person as you forgive them. If you made a list, cross each person off as you go, and don’t feel you need to stick to the list if there are other people or events that come to mind as you’re doing this. If you have trouble forgiving anyone on your list, you may need to come back to them after you finish Questions 2 and 3, below.
-
Once you’ve forgiven everyone else, take a moment to consider how you might need to forgive God. Are you holding any offense against Him? Is there a time He didn’t come through for you like you wanted, and that still gets in the way of you trusting Him? Is there something that He allowed to happen that you’re still angry about (like the loss of a loved one, or a trauma from your past)? Be honest with God about the way you feel and release Him from those things in your heart. Then, ask God to forgive you for holding those things against Him and recommit to following Him first, remembering that His ways are higher than your ways (
Isaiah 55:9).
-
Now forgive yourself. What have you been holding onto? What have you done or not done or even believed about yourself that you’ve never forgiven yourself for? Take a moment, and ask the Lord to reveal these things to you. Then, for each offense, forgive yourself and let it go. This may seem awkward, but it’s incredibly freeing. You may even consider doing this out loud—asking yourself first for forgiveness, and then forgiving yourself out loud, too. It really helps to solidify what’s going on when you hear the words “I forgive you” spoken aloud, even from your own lips.
Now pray this prayer with us:
Father, I’m so used to asking You for forgiveness, but now I’m asking You to help me forgive. I’ve held so many offenses and I’m carrying so many chains because of unforgiveness in my life—of myself, of others, and even of You. Teach me how to forgive, not just this once, but as often as I’m offended. And where I still can’t forgive, please have patience with me and give me grace to stand until I’m able to let those things go. Thank You for Your unconditional forgiveness of me and for leading me on this path of freedom and righteousness. I love You with all my heart. Amen.
This section is taken from a chapter of Matthew Bauer's book, The Journey to Freedom. To learn more about dealing with unforgiveness, click here to order the book, including Matthew's full teaching on "Unforgiveness."
BUY NOW: The Journey to Freedom - Navigating the Roadblocks to Abundant Living - by Matthew Bauer